It’s been days since I’ve last talked on the phone with NYC. He’s been busy training. Do I miss him? Eh I force myself not too Bc i feel like its a waste of energy when theres nothing you can do about it. Does that sound cruel? I’m just being honest. There are times I believe I am emotionally fucked up. Why? Bc the past made me this way. I do believe that the only way to avoid a future broken heart is to keep your guard thick and deny yourself from true love. Does it sound sad? I guess so. Will it keep me safe? Yes and that’s all that matters right now. I’ve experienced a tiny bit of heartache and that is something I never ever want to cross paths with again. It felt extremely disturbing, everything just came crashing down and there’s nothing but suffering and sadness in the end. As soon as I felt the madness I forced myself to think otherwise. To think that i never loved him. It made me feel better within minutes to spare. Sounds like denial? Eh sometimes it takes a lie to keep you sane. Till next time.
Back to reality.. Sigh. It was extremely great while it lasted. One of the best cities I’ve ever been too ever. Chicago is so beautiful. So much history and architecture all around. Trump Hotel was a top notch experience. So great I even wrote an email to show my gratitude towards the staff. The view was amazing as well. I definitely want to go back to just shop and relax this time. The environment is just so nice and mellow I absolutely love it. So glad I got to experience this wonderful city.
